My Husband is 20 to 30 years older than me, some says I married him for his money but I work and make my own money – Oluwatobi Uzoma Adams

Relationship  can be a complicated part of life. From where and how you meet somebody, to developing connections, to overcoming hurdles and bridging gaps, to getting married. there are all kinds of things to worry about from the beginning. Adding racial, age difference  and cultural differences to the mix may be a big deal to some, especially when there are historical tensions between the race of one person in the relationship and the race of the other person.

Not all individuals or couples see dating outside their race as being an issue, however. It can be as easy as simply finding someone that you click with and become attracted to, especially if mutual respect exists between the individuals in the relationship. We The Helen Media spoke with Mrs Oluwatobi Uzoma Adams  who is currently in interracial marriage and asked her some questions about her experience.

Can we get to know you?

My name is Oluwatobi uzoma Adams, I am from Ekiti state. Am a wife and mother.

How did you meet your husband  and what attracted you to him?

I met my husband in 2019 on line, I was playing with my phone that day and decide to download some dating site, then I found him, sent him a message and now lol 😂.

Did you have any hesitations about dating outside your race, and how did your family feel? Did your partner feel accepted by them?

oh yes I did at first, but after my first experience, I didn’t care I just wanted a family, I wanted to love again, and I had something to prove to my self and the world. Yes I was scared but love overcomes all things, I was already in love with his smiles. his smile 😊 wow, and I was extremely curious to know him more. lol!
My family was not happy about it at first, they could only see the age difference, but deep down I knew what I needed was is smile and courage, all I needed was him to keep loving me without fail, because I was in a dark place that period, honestly my husband saved my life, yes my husband feels accepted by my family, because  I remember the first day they spoke, my mum and my dad loves, adore respects him. I have not seen anyone who comes in contact with my husband and not admire his person. He is just a loving person and his smiles and gentile words are so contagious

Have your past disappointments with dating your own race lead you to date outside your race? Wouldn’t it be easier to date your own race?

Yes and no, past disappointment might have lead me to go searching but I found a great man, a wonderful husband and the best father to my child, I will never ever in any life time to come date or marry anyone apart from my husband.

Is there any age difference? How many years?

Yes there is a age difference between us 2 to 3 decades

How do you feel and why did you get married to someone with so much age difference?

It’s takes someone who has been through what you have been through to understand my decision. Let’s just say age is just a number, and my husband and I met through fate, God sees my heart, he knew I needed a strong man, wise, and caring. he gave me him.
I feel normal, got married to him because I love him, what other reason to marry a man. we going 2 years now and I am left to wonder when the honey moon face will be over. Lol

Due to the age difference, How is your sexual life ? Is there a difference in the intimacy ?

Let’s just say our sex life is great 👍. my husband is extremely man enough in that department, I give him a excellent score, yep hubby knows it all but we connect, and I let him lead, new things to be thought everyday right?

How do you deal with condescending  comments from people because of the age gap

Ignore them, some say I married him for his money  but I work and I make my own money. etc

Has the age difference created any barrier in your  marriage?!..eg- communication

Nop but language has, he calls me an old soul, am wiser than my age. But we love different things, he doesn’t force me to do anything, so it’s easy eg when he is watching tv star strek, I will excuse my self to the room to watch cartoons, we respect each other privacy and we understand the ground rules to a successful marriage, communication.

Will you allow your daughter HONESTLY marry someone with this  age gap?

If that’s what she wants why not, my mum and dad has 2 decades between them, my dad treat her like an angel, my dad will sit outside till my mum comes back from a long journey, he won’t sleep until he sees his wife so why not if that’s what she wants.

How do you keep the fire burning in your  marriage

New things everyday, lol. our love is real so we don’t have to do much but we communicate, we find something we can both love to do and we are considering of each other feelings, we don’t sleep with anger in our heart, we tell each other how much we love each other several times in a day , we forgive each other if need be and we talk things through.

Please describe your husband in few sentence.

My husband is the most caring, kindhearted , loving , easy to talk to and the love of my life.

What has been your greatest joy ever since you got married to him?

The day We got married and the day we held our first child .

What has been your  greatness fear as a interracial couple?

I have no fear with my husband by my side but racism is a major factor.

Do you have any to say to people who will love to get married to other race ?

Follow your heart ❤️